The B.C. Monthly
January 2007
First of all I want to apologize for not getting the B.C. Monthly out in December. My website went down and didn’t come back up until recently. I lost lots of e-mails. Your’s is one of the few I was able to retrieve.
This Months Quote
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955),
Promotional Ideas For January
National Eye Care Month
National Hot Tea Month
Innovative Thinking Month
Oatmeal Month
March of Dimes Birth Defects Prevention Month
The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called Failure, a
loop called Confusion, speed bumps called Friends, red lights called
Enemies, caution lights called Family. You will have flats called Jobs.
But, if you have a spare called Determination, an engine called
Perseverance, insurance called Faith, a driver called Jesus, you will
make it to a place called Success.
Here are a few things to think about that you probably have never thought about;
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Can you cry under water?
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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
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Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
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What disease did cured ham actually have?
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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
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Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
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Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural
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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
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If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
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Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
Public Speaking
You have gathered your material for this speech and have played with it, maybe created a mind map of it, and mulled over it so that you were able to create the central message that you want the speech or presentation to deliver.
To read the rest of the story, go here: http://www.worldwidebc.com/blog_details.php?record_id=12
Humorous One Liners You Can Use Everyday
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The school board says I was illiterate, but that’s not true. My parents were married.
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Happy Hour is anytime you can still find the men’s room.
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You’re overweight if you step on your dog’s tail and he dies.
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I bought a roach motel and put in my bathroom. The next morning, all my towels were gone.
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Get B.C. a booking and he will give you 10% of what he makes. This works for churches also. E-mail us for more info> bc@worldwidebc.com
