It’s really not easy for a boy like me to make it as a professional comedian coming from a small place like Moccasin Gap. When I found out the road didn’t end at the edge of town, I left.

I never listened to my family and friends when they would say things like, “You’ll never make it.” “What if you bomb?” “What if they don’t like you?” “Why don’t you just stay here and get a real job in the mill?” a real job, in the mill? That’s not for me, I’m afraid.

I am an adventurer. I love challenges. I think people should challenge themselves more. You will never know how far you can go if you don’t challenge yourself to go there. Try it. You will be astounded at what you can accomplish if you just challenge yourself.

When I was a teenager I played drums in rock, country, and jazz bands. I chose drums because that’s the hardest instrument to play. All four of your limbs are doing something different at the same time. That’s not easy. And I chose jazz because that’s the hardest music to play. I love jazz.

When corporate takeover fired me from radio, a career that I loved very much (they fired me because I knew too much and made too much money, two things they don’t want in the corporate world), I went into comedy. I was scared to death the first night I got on stage. After all, comedy is the hardest form of entertainment there is. If you don’t believe it, try standing on stage for ten minutes in front of a room full of strangers with a hot spot light shining down on you and nowhere to hide except behind that skinny little microphone stand. Try it for just one minute. It will feel like an hour. It really isn’t easy. But if you make it, you have a reason to be proud. You have conquered the hardest form of entertainment there is. That’s why I went into comedy. It was another challenge.

And not only did I make it; I became one of the top one hundred touring club comedians in America during the 90’s. And I never would have known I could have accomplished that if I hadn’t challenged myself that first night to go on stage.

Never listen to others, listen to your heart. Do what you feel is right, not what everyone else thinks you should do.

A lot of my material comes from Moccasin Gap; growing up in a small town; so small the Shoney’s Big Boy is a midget. That’s small.

I talk about my family, my Uncle Harvey and Aunt Maggie, Uncle Fester and cousin Roy. My sister’s beehive hairdo and the things my Mother used to say to me that made no sense at all, “Do you want me to whip you?” Why on earth would I want someone to whip me?

Or, “I’ll whip you some more if you want me to.” Yes mother, please, whip me some more. I didn’t get quite enough.

And I’m often asked who I think is funny. Who are the comedians that make me laugh. So, I’m going to give you my top five favorite comedians of all time in order:

5) Richard Pryor. The man was a genius. Mud bone is one of the funniest characters I’ve ever heard. I have all his albums. He put heart into his performances.

4) George Carlin. I learned early in my comedy career that no matter what I talk about, George Carlin has already covered it. He was a writer first a comic second. He wrote from three areas, the big world; politics, disease, war, etc; the small world; things you do everyday and the English language. He too was a genius.

3) Steve Martin. He is the reason I became interested in comedy in the first place. He made it look like he was making it up as he went along. People didn’t realize that every move was carefully choreographed, every word carefully rehearsed. Steve Martin distinguished the difference between a comedian and a comic. He said a comedian says funny things and a comic says things funny. He considered himself to be a comic. I consider myself to be one too.

And still today, some thirty years after has performed comedy on stage, if you say, “Excuse me” people will know you’re talking about Steve Martin. Plus he’s a great musician. And he truly is a genius. He’s a member of MENSA.

2) Jack Benny. I barely remember the Jack Benny Show on TV when I was little. And he died before I was an adult. But I have seen re-runs of him and he added a whole new meaning to the term “pause.” He could just stand there and give you that look and get a laugh without saying anything. That’s not easy. A burglar once said, “Your wallet or your life.” Benny just stood there. The burglar said, “Well?” Jack Benny replied, “I’m thinking.” Damn, that’s funny.

And my number one favorite comic:

1)      Grouch Marx, without a doubt a funniest man on the face of the planet. I wish he were around today. He was so ahead of his time. He had a one liner for everything. He was once slow dancing with a lady and she said, “Hold me closer.” Groucho replied, “If I hold you any closer I’ll be behind you.” Once during a bad performance he closed it with, “I had a great time – this wasn’t it.”  That’s pure comic genius. No one can think that quickly on their feet.

So there you have it, my top five favorite comics from the only comic to ever come from Moccasin Gap, at least the only one to make a living at it. Believe me, there are a lot of comedians in Moccasin Gap. I’m just the only one to get paid for it.

Until next time, y’all have a good day, you hear.